Search Engine

2011年3月27日 星期日

Snow: Notes on the accumulation of a season and a life by Linda Hogan

   

03/27/2011

     從台中回到台北的高鐵上,把在勤美誠品買來的最新一期 Orion 雜誌細細地讀了一回。其中有 Linda Hogan 寫的一篇散文。插畫是 Joy Garnett 畫的油畫。這位紐約畫家很擅長畫戰火延綿不絕的場景。我以為那種火熱熱地畫面在雪景裡很難表達。可是配合上 Linda 這次書寫的內容又是那麼巧妙。

        這篇文章一開始就談到死亡: "In my hands is a boreal owl who has died of West Nile virus" (Orion, March/April 2011: 66). Linda 撫摸著在手中垂死的北天貓頭鷹等待鷹魂離去。撫著他的羽毛,敘事者訴說著那手中觸感竟和霜降在厥葉上或是冬雪一般相似。文章開頭的敘事是溫暖火熱的等待,但死影如游絲氣息。讀到這裡,不免對靈魂的熱度起了疑心,駐紮在每個生命的體內,又是怎樣的溫度起伏染上病毒而頻臨死亡的 Boreal Owl當時除了等待生命結束之外,還能做些甚麼?

        Boreal Owl這種貓頭鷹我不曾看過,只聽過他的叫聲,Boreas 是希臘文北風的意思,Boreal 這形容北風的或是北極的形容詞,用在貓頭鷹身上除了將出生地點出來以外,Linda Hogan 還把季節跟這隻頻死的鳥族放在一起。這酷寒的冬日裡,伴隨著煙雨濛濛,濕冷穿心的週末午後閱讀這一篇文章,不免遙想起我在南卡羅萊納時的好時光---每周日陽光暖暖地灑在天地之間,我清閒地開車跑去騎馬的歲月,騎完馬回家還會跟家貓Dalton 打拳練太極...那些美好的時光與自由也只能是死亡或是北風過境之後,在深南方才能實現地片刻空閒。

        談到自然與存在,這篇散文中也提及作者在生命中有許許多多的動物們陪伴,因為這些動物們的接納,Linda Hogan 講起一個故事  Pueblo emergence story, 這神話似乎表達出人類也能夠甚至必須在某種程度上從動物身上獲得某種認同與需要。在馬兒的眼中她看到自己被接受,她說: “As I stand with the horses beneath the black, wintry sky, watching the elder one eat, her warm, dark eyes looking grateful for food as she chews and concentrates, the wild horse leans against me gently, and I think: I have been accepted. Perhaps she still holds the consciousness of a herd, and for her, I have become a part of it. So often, I have observed that being accepted by animals is something most human beings want and need” (Orion, March/April 2011: 67). 在沒有動物或是四季變換的世界,人類將會是多麼孤單? 因為雪,所以出現了只屬於北方的語言用來描述各式各樣的雪; 因為這一切的生成與大自然裡充滿的各種奇妙現象與危險,這生命才顯得充滿能量。 Linda 在這篇散文最後引起我無上的共鳴,我想只有個體自身明白我們與這個世界是共生體,才能熱情回顧生命情調中無窮無盡的更迭和悸動。

"Down by the creek, I see beaver tracks and remember how they were nearly made extinct in the 1700s for hats in fashionable Europe. Then I see the mountain lion pass by. I consider this new virus, West Nile, and how it has affected the birds, entire populations gone by one invisible thing. Ours is an alive world, ever changing, sometimes dangerous, but always amazing. The formation of our universe is ongoing, and I am one minuscule participant within in, as is one bird, one tree broken, one spreading virus, and I can only hope that my life will offer something back to this magnificent creation, this changing climate, this sacred earth, these lives all around me” (Orion, March/April 2011: 71)

(本文順為福島以及利比亞還有全世界祈禱,不論發生怎樣的天災人禍,總能懷抱希望和所有各種形式存在的生命與非生命體一起做出小小的期待與發揮微小力量。)

1 則留言: